for the Holidays

For a SWM—single wanting marriage—there’s a minimum of 3 difficult days out of the year: 

Valentine’s day

Birthday

The holidays. 

Being single is hard enough. Yes, there are glorious virtues associated with being unattached—the freedom! the lifestyle! the, uh, freedom!—but let’s face it. Whether we look at it from a practical, psychological, spiritual, or yes, sexual standpoint, having no significant other is lonely.

Especially during special days. 

The holidays may mutate your single status into melancholia. This pain is compounded if a beloved figure in your family recently passed. Or perhaps caring for your elderly relative leaves you too spent to cheer the holiday season. Whatever the reason, you’re greeting the season of celebration with chagrin. 

It’s funny how the holidays sparkle with loads of sensations—colors, splashing the air with abandon; and carols, comforting in their familiarity—yet the festivities fail to deliver much joy. All your eyes track are couples: shopping together, cuddling under the mistletoe, or strolling with their bundled up babies. 

In other words, the holidays remind you that others own what you don’t. Yet another Christmas and I’m still single. Does God hear my prayers? Does He care? 

This season may transport you into a roomful of eager relatives, primed to swap significant stories. Yet you stamp everything as old news. Upticks in life hardly matter. Whether getting a promotion, moving into a trendy townhouse, sponsoring a foreign child or rescuing a kitten, everything feels blah because your left ring finger is still bare. 

Letting your single status diminish your joy will infect the rest of your life with barrenness.

So, if you wish to ignore the beauty of the season and dismiss the year’s hard-won victories, by all means. Pull out the kleenex, bolt the door, and throw the pity party.

“That’s how last year’s holidays went down,” a brave soul admits. Then perhaps it’s time to try something new. Consider hanging an Open sign on the door of your heart, and welcome God to wow you.

Be childlike—not cynical. 

Behold, I will do something new. Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:19 (NASB)

Will you not be aware of it? is a valid question. Whether you spot the signs—announcing God’s newly constructed bridge into the wilderness of your life—might depend on how cynical you are.

Cynicism is busy complaining, blinding the new from being seen. Childlikeness is ablaze with wonder.

Cynicism pooh poohs the novel beginning if it’s too small to notice. Childlikeness celebrates it, small and all.

Cynicism cements the present as fixed: “My desire is unmet.” Childlikeness rejoices in the possibilities: “Tomorrow may be a different story.”

If you hang the Open sign up, you’ll win twice. You’re ready to greet the new when it hatches—and smile at the surrounding joy in the meantime. 

Season’s greetings!

____

Tags: Singlehood, Mental health